Keeping up with current events
Mar. 20th, 2019 09:35 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
oletherosIt is a time of change. In more or less chronological order (with some shifting for thematic purposes):
My girlfriend and I broke up at the beginning of February. And then we got back together after four days. And then we broke up again at the end of the month, after Winter Fire. Things "had not changed," which is odd because we hadn't actually sat down and discussed what we wanted to change. But sure. There's more to all of that, but I think this one is going to stick. She is clearly not happy with me, but I'm not entirely certain if she understood that I was not happy with her.
She recently updated her profiles after telling me that she was going to be single for the forseeable future, which was interesting. She listed "negotiation" as one of her strong suits. I am darkly amused because it really isn't, at all. Oh well. It is what it is.
I did learn a lot from all of that, most of which ended up in essays on FetLife. Things like "not wanting things is not the same as actively wanting things." And "trying to change the other person is not actually the same as working on the relationship." And "when someone changes their status on FL and won't discuss what that means, that's probably not a good sign." And that my love language is quality time and availability, and I'm not going to be happy with someone who cannot acknowledge that wanting to drop off the face of the planet for thirty days at a stretch is an inherently selfish and abusive action.
About a week after all that happened, I was at a happy hour and I ran into someone that I'd talked to on OKC a year earlier. It never went anywhere because this person was concerned that my gf was a little too insecure. At the happy hour, I re-introduced myself and explained that my relationship status had recently changed. We talked until we closed the bar down. And talked some more. And really haven't stopped talking. There's been a lot of kissing, too. One thing I have learned is that when the chemistry is really strong, to just go with it and see what happens. So far, so good.
There's other interest as well, from various quarters. Before I ran into this other person, I was convinced that I was not looking for a primary and would be happy with some Relationship Anarchy/Solo Poly action for the time being - playing the field. I'm still working that angle, but the Universe has a weird way of throwing curveballs. More to follow.
I changed my therapist appointment because the rep for a Hong Kong tailor will be in town for two days only. I got a custom suit from that source five or six years ago and really like it, especially for the price I paid. I could use a black suit that doesn't have a pinstripe and a blue suit that isn't navy, and my therapist is way more flexible than the suit guy. Priorities.
When Tumblr shut down adult content back in December, I migrated my archive to Wordpress and posted on each site for three months. The last Tumblr post went up at the beginning of March. My 8500 followers have not really followed me to Wordpress en masse, which is a bitch. I've only got sixteen more years of the magazine to read, and then I can claim the dubious honor of being one of the few people who has actually read the complete run of Heavy Metal. I would like to write the book about the 50th anniversary, though. Goals.
The job situation has gotten weird. Well, weirder. I have a job offer in hand, which is great. But I've been telling my government clients that I'm going to stop supporting them when the contract flips at the end of March. And I've been honest - the company that's going to pick up my position wants to pay me less. I've been negotiating through a friend of mine who has no personal stake in me moving jobs, to no avail. But this week I took the step of talking with the lady who would be my team lead - and is, incidentally, drowning in the job. I've basically helped her every step of the way with a very routine task, so I figured it was time to talk about the value proposition that I presented to her, personally.
The talk was very enlightening. The management of the new company have been getting complaints from the government that I was lowballed. They are confused because they haven't offered me anything - which tells me that they were planning to wait until the contract flipped and then lowball me when I had no other options. And they don't know what to do. Fuckwits. When the government complains that you're not picking up someone that they clearly want, you do what you have to do to make a better offer. That's the way the contracting game is played and has always been played. I did what I had to do, now I'm waiting on them. And I am absolutely willing to go out and learn a completely different marketable skill out of spite.
Yesterday's update was that my current contract will probably be extended by two months, which means that the timing on all of this gets pushed out into early summer. Ho hum. Business as usual.
Finally, I've got a tattoo appointment in early April to finish the sleeve on my left arm. And then I'm taking a week off to let it heal and, frankly, not do anything. Well, the plan is to get caught up on Seasons 5-7 of Game of Thrones in prep for the new season. And probably read Jerusalem by Alan Moore. And, y'know, not much else. Which sounds delightful - my last vacation was in October and I need a break like whoa. Which is more or less the story of my life right now.
My girlfriend and I broke up at the beginning of February. And then we got back together after four days. And then we broke up again at the end of the month, after Winter Fire. Things "had not changed," which is odd because we hadn't actually sat down and discussed what we wanted to change. But sure. There's more to all of that, but I think this one is going to stick. She is clearly not happy with me, but I'm not entirely certain if she understood that I was not happy with her.
She recently updated her profiles after telling me that she was going to be single for the forseeable future, which was interesting. She listed "negotiation" as one of her strong suits. I am darkly amused because it really isn't, at all. Oh well. It is what it is.
I did learn a lot from all of that, most of which ended up in essays on FetLife. Things like "not wanting things is not the same as actively wanting things." And "trying to change the other person is not actually the same as working on the relationship." And "when someone changes their status on FL and won't discuss what that means, that's probably not a good sign." And that my love language is quality time and availability, and I'm not going to be happy with someone who cannot acknowledge that wanting to drop off the face of the planet for thirty days at a stretch is an inherently selfish and abusive action.
About a week after all that happened, I was at a happy hour and I ran into someone that I'd talked to on OKC a year earlier. It never went anywhere because this person was concerned that my gf was a little too insecure. At the happy hour, I re-introduced myself and explained that my relationship status had recently changed. We talked until we closed the bar down. And talked some more. And really haven't stopped talking. There's been a lot of kissing, too. One thing I have learned is that when the chemistry is really strong, to just go with it and see what happens. So far, so good.
There's other interest as well, from various quarters. Before I ran into this other person, I was convinced that I was not looking for a primary and would be happy with some Relationship Anarchy/Solo Poly action for the time being - playing the field. I'm still working that angle, but the Universe has a weird way of throwing curveballs. More to follow.
I changed my therapist appointment because the rep for a Hong Kong tailor will be in town for two days only. I got a custom suit from that source five or six years ago and really like it, especially for the price I paid. I could use a black suit that doesn't have a pinstripe and a blue suit that isn't navy, and my therapist is way more flexible than the suit guy. Priorities.
When Tumblr shut down adult content back in December, I migrated my archive to Wordpress and posted on each site for three months. The last Tumblr post went up at the beginning of March. My 8500 followers have not really followed me to Wordpress en masse, which is a bitch. I've only got sixteen more years of the magazine to read, and then I can claim the dubious honor of being one of the few people who has actually read the complete run of Heavy Metal. I would like to write the book about the 50th anniversary, though. Goals.
The job situation has gotten weird. Well, weirder. I have a job offer in hand, which is great. But I've been telling my government clients that I'm going to stop supporting them when the contract flips at the end of March. And I've been honest - the company that's going to pick up my position wants to pay me less. I've been negotiating through a friend of mine who has no personal stake in me moving jobs, to no avail. But this week I took the step of talking with the lady who would be my team lead - and is, incidentally, drowning in the job. I've basically helped her every step of the way with a very routine task, so I figured it was time to talk about the value proposition that I presented to her, personally.
The talk was very enlightening. The management of the new company have been getting complaints from the government that I was lowballed. They are confused because they haven't offered me anything - which tells me that they were planning to wait until the contract flipped and then lowball me when I had no other options. And they don't know what to do. Fuckwits. When the government complains that you're not picking up someone that they clearly want, you do what you have to do to make a better offer. That's the way the contracting game is played and has always been played. I did what I had to do, now I'm waiting on them. And I am absolutely willing to go out and learn a completely different marketable skill out of spite.
Yesterday's update was that my current contract will probably be extended by two months, which means that the timing on all of this gets pushed out into early summer. Ho hum. Business as usual.
Finally, I've got a tattoo appointment in early April to finish the sleeve on my left arm. And then I'm taking a week off to let it heal and, frankly, not do anything. Well, the plan is to get caught up on Seasons 5-7 of Game of Thrones in prep for the new season. And probably read Jerusalem by Alan Moore. And, y'know, not much else. Which sounds delightful - my last vacation was in October and I need a break like whoa. Which is more or less the story of my life right now.
no subject
Date: 2019-03-20 05:06 pm (UTC)